46 posts tagged “navel gazing”

We may have mentioned this before, but those that pay attention can track our general disposition through this humble blog.  We've noticed over the past three years a clear (to us) pattern of negligence when we are down.  Now just so happens to be one of those unfortunate times.  We've been fairly stressed out lately, and we've been dealing with the inevitable low after a long spring of being mostly up.  And despite our week-long dalliance with the Question of the Day, we feel hotrod.vox.com has not been getting the attention it deserves.  We had hoped to rectify that this evening with an off-topic and humorous personal anecdote, but nothing came to mind.  Or at least nothing that we could crank out in twenty minutes or less.

Then we remembered a couple of posts by Dabysan (before he jetted off to another hemisphere; god, we hate that asshole) about smooth music.  Those posts prompted us to re-watch the tremendous Yacht Rock series in its entirety one sleepless mid-June night.  This is our favorite episode.

Now that we think of it, "I'm The One" probably counts as a ba-ba song.

Now is the time when I'm supposed to announce that for the next week I'll be posting nothing but a daily response to the Question of the Day.  But I'm not very clever to begin with and I had a really shitty afternoon.  Just this introductory post is proving to be quite the challenge.  So let's just say that for the next week I'll be posting nothing but answers to the Questions of the Day and leave it at that.  God help us all.

Oh, and memes can blow me.

Today is a big day.  We turn three years old today.  We've come a long way since our humble beginnings, and have much to commemorate.  It's a less-than-ideal day for festivities, given our other plans, but birthdays are meant to be observed on the day the of.  We'll make no exceptions for ourselves.  So without further ado, here's the latest installment of our annual look back at the year that was:

• Our one and only (and ill-advised) reader poll led to a disastrous week of nothing but internet memes.
  
• There was a minor security breach when Jodi hacked our site and offerered her confessional.
• Our trip to the Outer Banks culminated with the awarding of the 2008 Beachies.
  
• We had a busy weekend.
  
• Cap'n Crunch failed in his attempt to make a mockery of Rocktober.
• We discussed wrasslin' scenarios, and other things lit'rary.
• We were part of this delicious breakfast.
• A cool Christmas present made us feel highly uncool.
  
• The Steelers won the Super Bowl....
• ....and we won Karaoke to the Death.
• M-----l posted about facial hair and an argument ensued.
• Hellooooooo, new bike!
• We spent a lot of time making maps and riding our new bike.
  

Which brings us full-circle to this morning....  Sorry to bail on our own party, but we really do have to go.  Next year, we will host a proper celebration.

Dear Matyas,

I have a confession to make and it's....  Well, it's a little awkward.  I think I love you.  There, I said it.  I love you.  And this is no fleeting crush.  No, this is the real deal.  This will be an everlasting love.  As long as you never stop coming to Karaoke to the Death.

In nine years, I've never seen anyone burst onto the KttD scene like you did.  Sure, others have had strong debuts.  Alison comes to mind, but she really didn't factor into the voting.  Cappy came out strong and even came close to winning.  But you, you....  You not only could have won KttD VIII, but you were the last singer in a deep field.  Convential wisdom says that's a huge mistake.  Several voters never even saw your raw performance of Heart's "Barracuda."  But you flouted convention and single-handedly re-energized a moribund Anyone But Bob movement in the process.  And you damn near pulled off the upset.  You would have been a worthy champion.

Not that there were no detractors, mind you.  I'll admit that those who thought your performance to be "a little tank-y" had a point.  But I am sure the doubters would likewise admit that they were as eager as I to see what you had in store for your sophomore outing.  It pleases me immensely that those expecting a slump were disappointed.  You were, in many ways, worse in KttD IX than you were in KttD VIII.  And what's more, you were (as Vrabel pointed out later) worse in different ways in KttD IX than you were in KttD VIII.  I think it's safe to say that the KttD faithful can stop talking about if you will win the Ramsey Cup and start talking about when.

But none of that is why I love you.  I don't even love you because your vote for me was the deciding factor in my victory.  Not exactly.  I love you because after the fact - when I asked you about your curious vote - you said:  "I could hear you sing, and you were bad.  When I was up on stage singing, I thought I sounded pretty good."  Those sentences give me chills in every possible way.  When I think of all the songs you aren't capable of singing, it makes me so very happy just to picture you a year from now taking the stage, just to imagine how I will recoil at the vile sounds emanating from your lips, just to know you.  If that's not love, I don't know what is.
 
Yours always,
Hotrod

The first thing that must be noted about Cap'n Crook's showing at KttD IX is that questions of tanking now seem to be moot.  It's true that Cappy has had a checkered past, but his shameful behavior appears to be behind him.  And as a Co-Chair of the KttD Competition Committee, I can't be more pleased.  Cappy's rendition of Kiss' "I Was Made For Loving You" was abyssmal.  At best.  This performance is the return to form for which we have all been waiting since his powerful debut in KttD V.  Cappy is once again poised as one to watch in future contests.

The second thing that must be noted about Cap'n Crunch's showing at KttD IX is that he got totally hosed with his second song.  Supertramp's "Goodbye Stranger" was an inspired choice - or it would have been had the shrill backing vocals of the chorus been part of his karaoke experience.  A bad karaoke mix can be disconcerting, so to speak.  I experienced a similar, though far less devastating, scenario in KttD VI when the chants of "Wild boys!  Wild boys!" were omitted from the intro to Duran Duran's masterpiece.  That was unfortunate, but I was able to recover.  Cappy did his best to salvage the situation, but in this case the missing vocals were crucial to the potential of his performance.  Their absence thwarted any chance Crunch had of making a late comeback.  Hosed. I don't know how work the title of Cappy's song (and this post) into the body of the text like I've done with the others.  I mean, there's an obvious way, but Cappy doesn't like it when I bring up that magical night we shared in New York last summer.  Come on, Cappy.  Why you gotta be that way?

Selecting a winning KttD song is as much an art as a science.  There's more to it than tempo and melody, more than words.  And one should never - ever - discount the sing-along factor.  Aussie Bob learned that one the hard way.

Jason P. holds the dubious (and ultimately meaningless) distinction of being Karaoke to the Death's "actual best" in both of the past two years.  He is definitely at a competitive disadvantage, what with a background in music and all, and Daby's assessment that a couple of fuzzy guitars are all his performance of Wilson Phillips' "Hold On" would need to make the hipsters swoon is probably accurate.  But I'm starting to hear some potential.  He doesn't hit all the notes here.  I believe that with the right song, anyone can win KttD.  This wasn't the right song for Jason, but it's a step in the right direction.

Hold on, Jason.  Don't you know?  Don't you know things can change?  Things'll go your way if you hold on for one more day.  Hold on for one more day.  Things'll go your way.  Hold on for one more day.

I can't decide if I find Soo Doh Nim's belief that he is actually a good singer to be annoying or endearing.  I waver.  It's annoying because sometimes - like last year - Soo skips KttD, and I can't help but think that his calculation that he might not win has some bearing on his decision.  It's endearing because when he does show up he reminds us how bad he really is.  And nobody needs to be occasionally taken down a peg more than Soo.

Nobody is going to suggest that Soo is the worst that the grand stage of the Rock It Grill has ever seen.  In fact, I relish reminding him that his winning performance the least impressive by a former champion to date.  He's the Baltimore Ravens of bad karaoke.  On the other hand, he won KttD IV soundly (so to speak), and the only other champion to do so in the five years since was Emma at KttD VII.  And in fact, Soo had a puncher's chance in that bout.  His putrid rendition of Carly Simon's "Nobody Does It Better" had much support until his nudge-and-a-wink pandering broke the fourth wall in the mind of most of the judges.  In any given year - and probably when you least expect it - Soo can run close enough to empty to take home the Cup.  That may be his most annoying (and, I guess, also endearing) quality of all.

Dabysan will attest that the most common reaction people have to hearing about Karaoke to the Death for the first time is: "Oh, well you don't want me there.  I'm terrible.  I'll win for sure."  It's number one with a bullet and number two isn't close.  And, oddly, most people look a little crestfallen when you (meaning, we) compliment them and say: "Look, I am sure you can't sing, but you probably won't win."  You (meaning, they) don't realize just how terrible the seasoned KttD'ers are and how they try to select songs that emphasize the very worst aspects of their badness.

Case in point - about a third of the way into the sound clip below, you can clearly hear CarrieNation opine "It's not that bad."  Now, I was standing near Ms. Nation when she offered that opinion, and I can personally attest that everyone agreed that no, it really wasn't that bad.  But the thing is, any rational person with functional eardrums is going to listen to this and say "Are you fucking kidding me?  This is fucking terrible!"  And they would be right.  It is fucking terrible.  Emma Peel is just a terrible singer.  And despite that fact, this song didn't even factor in the final tally; I don't believe she received a single vote.  The mind reels.

None of this is to detract from Emma's abilities, mind you.  She was a worthy champion in 2007, and should have won twice in a row.  She will be right back in the mix next year, I have no doubt.  Nothing compares to Emma.  But this is what newcomers to the sport of bad karaoke don't understand.  We're not talking about merely bad singing; we're talking about some of the worst singing imaginable.  Like I said, the mind reels.