i realize - despite my last post - that it is unwise to give dabysan
too much of an upper hand. lucky for me we are closing in on NFL
training camp (and by default the impending season). we've had
this discussion - the inevitable forecast - many times over the past
decade, but i daresay never before have i been in such an enviable
position.
i wish they played each other this year, but they don't. so we
will have to be content with comparing our teams by their respective
advances into the post-season. assuming, of course, that
dabysan's team makes it there in the first place. and that's a
big "if." but i'm getting a bit ahead of myself.
let's recap, shall we? i have been - except for a single
misguided year in fourth grade when i supported the miami dolphins
after dan marino's breakout season - a fan of the single greatest
franchise ever assembled for the sake of sporting enterprise. and
it just so happens that i support the current defending champions of
american football (aka, the BEST football) throughout the world.
and dabysan supports the washington redskins, which is odd because he
claims to be a californian whenever convenient.
for those that don't know, there is somewhat of a discrepency of
ownership of these two clubs. daniel rooney is the son of the
owner who brought his long-suffering team at last into glory, and he
has recently passed control of the team on to his own son, who will
surely do likewise. both dan and his father, art, are
hall-of-famers who have given tirelessly to their team and the greater
good of the league as a whole. in stark contrast stands daniel
snyder - owner of the redskins and smug little rich shitprick (yeah,
you read that correctly).
there's at least a bazillion reasons to hate daniel snyder and by
default, the washington redskins. (in fact, i actively rooted for
the team until such time as little napoleon took control. i
recently met a long-time fan who claims to only root for the team on
away dates, as she can't stand the thought of danny boy relishing a
victory in a luxury box in his own stadium. i like that. a
LOT.) but not least of which is his persistance in maintaining a
racist nickname. i know this argument well; for the entirety of
my college experience my school was embroiled in the very same
debate. i supported keeping the name at the time, mainly because
i was a stupid asshole and i liked it because it was old. and the
miami tribe supported it. miami university - to its credit -
changed its name the moment the tribe revoked its endorsement.
it's unfortunate that my alma mater changed the name of its teams to
the redhawks, but i supported that decision too, because though i was
still an asshole, two years later i was considerably less stupid.
it was the right thing to do.
and it's the right thing to do in the case of the professional
football team based in the vicinity of our nation's capital, but danny
is far more of a stupid asshole than i ever dreamt. (and again,
that's saying a lot.) but that's far from his only offense.
he gouges his fans. i know what you're saying - you're above the
fray; you're a steeler fan. but the thing is - i love
football. i love football more than about everything. and i
love going to games. but going to games around here is vastly more expensive
than everywhere else. and it's danny's fault.
i am once again thankful, at least, that i have no interest in
attending the redskins' practice. otherwise danny might lay even
more claim to my wallet. deadspin.com - which should be daily
reading whether you are into sports or not - is all over this.
i highly recommend sticking around for the comments, in which "hoagie
with pastrami" relays the following story which - at long last -
inspired the title of this post.
There's a story that the 'skins were playing the Steelers back in
2000. Steelers announcer Myron Cope (who was at least 70 at this time)
kept referring to the Redskins as the "Wash Redfaces".
Apparently, Snyder didn't like this and sent someone to the Steelers radio booth to tell Cope to knock it off.
I believe old-ass Myron's exact quote to Snyder was, "If the boy
billionaire thinks he's gonna shut me up, he can stick his head in a
can of paint."
Now, what Myron meant by that, who the fuck knows (Myron was pretty
famous for often making no sense). But the thought of half drunk, chain
smoking, little 70-something-year-old Myron Cope punking out the
"bigshot" billionaire Daniel Snyder live on the air just makes me smile.
i miss myron. the world is poorer for his retirement. and daniel snyder likes to suck big dicks.
as for the season.... well, think about it. pittsburgh is the
defending champion and they've lost nobody crucial - and upgraded at
receiver provided he can stay out of jail.
meanwhile, the injuns overpaid for a third-string
receiver/punt-returner (who they shouldn't use to return punts because
he now costs too much), lost their best defensive player (even though
he hadn't a clue how to stay in position), and will be starting either
a 49-year-old scrambler or a rookie at quarterback. if you think
this season has anything other than "disaster" written all over it for
the injuns, i'd like to buy some of whatever you are smoking.
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