3 posts tagged “assholes”
Slate features today a snazzy piece today comparing George Bush and Barry Bonds in 2007 to Richard Nixon and Henry Aaron in 1974. It turns out both Bush and Bonds, like Nixon and Aaron before them, are chasing records that were heretofore considered "untouchable." It's kind of clever and a little bit forced, but the salient point remains: President Bush is approaching a record disapproval rating. Now, to anyone with even only half a brain (which I guess would include President George Walker Bush), this is self-evident. And, sadly, maybe - probably - even expected. But there's a larger point here.
The column obliquely mentions impeachment, but fails to elaborate, and this is problematic. The column seems to be directed, actually, at the scores of people who don't have any idea what impeachment means. Impeachment, in fact, could be - or perhaps should be - even easier than the process to which is alluded. The author mentions that a two-thirds majority is required to impeach a sitting president, but that's only partly true. The House of Representatives must first pass Articles of Impeachment by only a simple majority. That is: fifty-one to forty-nine, percentage-wise. The Senate must then try the accused assho- I mean, President - but they're the ones who need to agree by the aforementioned two-thirds standard toward which Dubya is quickly approaching. Anyone who is (or is not) a fan of the Electoral College may see where this is going.
The thing is, we've still got that pesky Article III defining the population of the Senate. And with two Senators per state no matter the size (I'm looking at you, Wyoming), that means those goddamn flyover states can still make life difficult for the rest (and by "rest," I mean "most") of us. It's clear that something must be done. But don't get me wrong. I'm not proposing anything radical like giving two-thirds of the continent to Mexico. I have a very simple solution; instantaneously I can dispose of probably forty problematic senators. All territory between the Mississippi River and the Sierra Nevada Mountians shall become part of the State of California. All territory between the Mississippi River and the Appalachian Mountains shall become part of the Commonwealth of Virginia. (Except for Texas, of course - Texas, we'll give back to Mexico.) And there you go: we all win, and democracy is served. And it just might help solve that Electoral College problem that got us here in the first place.
thanks to the good doctor,
i found myself this afternoon thinking of inspirational posters.
i am tired of making lemonade when i come to the end of my rope.
it's been a while since i have made a top five list, so here we go. oh, and what kind of list doesn't have an honorable mention. not one i'd like to know.
in alphabetical order (except for the top slot):
[you know what? fuck it. this feels wrong. i gotta rank 'em]
and number one with a bullet...
i realize - despite my last post - that it is unwise to give dabysan
too much of an upper hand. lucky for me we are closing in on NFL
training camp (and by default the impending season). we've had
this discussion - the inevitable forecast - many times over the past
decade, but i daresay never before have i been in such an enviable
position.
i wish they played each other this year, but they don't. so we
will have to be content with comparing our teams by their respective
advances into the post-season. assuming, of course, that
dabysan's team makes it there in the first place. and that's a
big "if." but i'm getting a bit ahead of myself.
let's recap, shall we? i have been - except for a single
misguided year in fourth grade when i supported the miami dolphins
after dan marino's breakout season - a fan of the single greatest
franchise ever assembled for the sake of sporting enterprise. and
it just so happens that i support the current defending champions of
american football (aka, the BEST football) throughout the world.
and dabysan supports the washington redskins, which is odd because he
claims to be a californian whenever convenient.
for those that don't know, there is somewhat of a discrepency of ownership of these two clubs. daniel rooney is the son of the owner who brought his long-suffering team at last into glory, and he has recently passed control of the team on to his own son, who will surely do likewise. both dan and his father, art, are hall-of-famers who have given tirelessly to their team and the greater good of the league as a whole. in stark contrast stands daniel snyder - owner of the redskins and smug little rich shitprick (yeah, you read that correctly).
there's at least a bazillion reasons to hate daniel snyder and by default, the washington redskins. (in fact, i actively rooted for the team until such time as little napoleon took control. i recently met a long-time fan who claims to only root for the team on away dates, as she can't stand the thought of danny boy relishing a victory in a luxury box in his own stadium. i like that. a LOT.) but not least of which is his persistance in maintaining a racist nickname. i know this argument well; for the entirety of my college experience my school was embroiled in the very same debate. i supported keeping the name at the time, mainly because i was a stupid asshole and i liked it because it was old. and the miami tribe supported it. miami university - to its credit - changed its name the moment the tribe revoked its endorsement. it's unfortunate that my alma mater changed the name of its teams to the redhawks, but i supported that decision too, because though i was still an asshole, two years later i was considerably less stupid. it was the right thing to do.
and it's the right thing to do in the case of the professional
football team based in the vicinity of our nation's capital, but danny
is far more of a stupid asshole than i ever dreamt. (and again,
that's saying a lot.) but that's far from his only offense.
he gouges his fans. i know what you're saying - you're above the
fray; you're a steeler fan. but the thing is - i love
football. i love football more than about everything. and i
love going to games. but going to games around here is vastly more expensive
than everywhere else. and it's danny's fault.
i am once again thankful, at least, that i have no interest in attending the redskins' practice. otherwise danny might lay even more claim to my wallet. deadspin.com - which should be daily reading whether you are into sports or not - is all over this. i highly recommend sticking around for the comments, in which "hoagie with pastrami" relays the following story which - at long last - inspired the title of this post.
There's a story that the 'skins were playing the Steelers back in 2000. Steelers announcer Myron Cope (who was at least 70 at this time) kept referring to the Redskins as the "Wash Redfaces".
Apparently, Snyder didn't like this and sent someone to the Steelers radio booth to tell Cope to knock it off.
I believe old-ass Myron's exact quote to Snyder was, "If the boy billionaire thinks he's gonna shut me up, he can stick his head in a can of paint."
Now, what Myron meant by that, who the fuck knows (Myron was pretty famous for often making no sense). But the thought of half drunk, chain smoking, little 70-something-year-old Myron Cope punking out the "bigshot" billionaire Daniel Snyder live on the air just makes me smile.
i miss myron. the world is poorer for his retirement. and daniel snyder likes to suck big dicks.
as for the season.... well, think about it. pittsburgh is the
defending champion and they've lost nobody crucial - and upgraded at
receiver provided he can stay out of jail.
meanwhile, the injuns overpaid for a third-string
receiver/punt-returner (who they shouldn't use to return punts because
he now costs too much), lost their best defensive player (even though
he hadn't a clue how to stay in position), and will be starting either
a 49-year-old scrambler or a rookie at quarterback. if you think
this season has anything other than "disaster" written all over it for
the injuns, i'd like to buy some of whatever you are smoking.
