true confessions

[Editors' note:  Sheesh!  We retire to bed and our Vox site retires to bedlam.  And an unexpected meeting this morning means that we have only now - just shy of noon - discovered this little security breach.  But rest assured, order has been restored.  As for the content of the breach, we have discussed at some length with our Board of Directors and we have decided that while we do not condone Jodi's shenanigans, we appreciate her candor.  We wish she would have chosen another outlet for her confessional, but we will let it stand.  We sincerely hope this will be the last of this sort of outburst, and we wish Jodi all the best in her struggle with the inhalants.]

As you may have noticed, Hotrod made fun of my avatar so I changed it.  What you didn't know is that I have been in cahoots with Vanna, and she's given me the password to his Shell account.  Yes, Hotrod is such a fool.  He seriously misunderestimated me.  And to prove this is really Jodi, here's a few things I've been meaning to get off my chest.  They're lazily bullet-pointed;  that's how you can tell it's really me.

• I hate writing.  I really do.  I only started that charade because I thought it would sound way cooler to say that I am a writer than to say I work at a bowling alley.  Now I have to pretend to make stuff up all the time, which hurts my brain, because I really just want to watch television.  I don't even like to read.  Seriously.  I just like people to think I am smart.
• Pie is AWESOME.  Who on earth would like brownies?  Nobody, that's who.  I can't believe that idiot Hotrod actually thinks I like that shit.  He's so fucking stupid.
  
• The Replacements are terrible.  There, I said it.  Their early records are juvenile and banal, and their later records - though much better (especially the somewhat underrated Don't Tell a Soul) - are boring.  Sometimes I wish they actually did write the Friends theme song, because that would ensure that my useless favorite band won't be completely forgotten.
• I agree with almost every opinion Hotrod has.  Dabysan too, to a lesser extent.  I don't know what I would have done if they hadn't entered my life when they did.  I was beginning to think I had no purpose.  It's safe to say that they saved me, and I am eternally grateful.
• Deep down, I know I am a Post-Ironic Hipster.  One day I will have enough courage to move to a coast where I belong.
• Apple sucks, and has conned many, many idiots into spending more than they need to on a computer.  I use a Dell.
• I sniff glue.  That's why so many of the things I say are so deranged.

Whew!  That was cathartic.  ("Cathartic" is a word Hotrod taught me.  I might have just said "cool" there.)  I'm glad I could finally clear the air here.  I've felt like such a fraud for so long.  I hope we can still be friends.

Yours truly,
Jodi