the most wonderful time of the year

Dec 17, 2007 at 1:07 PM
33 comments

Today marks the traditional beginning of that most beloved of seasons: Karaoke Season. Consider this your official Two Month Warning for the Eighth Annual Karaoke to the Death VIII. It's time to start - if you haven't already - making your lists of songs and checking them twice. And if you're coming in from out of town, it's time to start making travel plans. Vanna, it's time to stock up on batteries and start fashioning those hard-hitting sideline questions. Daby, it's time to schedule a nice, relaxing Caribbean vacation for the week prior. Emma, it's time to figure out how best to transport the Ramsey Cup from your mantle to my bookshelf without incurring further damage. And Cappy, poor banned-for-life Cappy, it's time start negotiating your pay-per-view options. To wit: how much you're willing to pay us if we allow you to view the contest in person. It's Karaoke Season, everybody. And it's about damned time. Excelsior!

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Tags:

holidays,
kttd

Comments

Oh. Fuck. Yes. I'm hungry this year. Hungrier than I've ever been. I have the drive. I have the plan. Lord Ramsey's cup will return to its rightful place in my trophy case (yes, I do mean my bookshelf.) Excelsior!

Rest assured, my posse of: Nelson Mandela, Pete Rose, and the entire country of Tibet will be descending upon Alexandria in full force to break down your doors of oppression.

This needs to be paired with Air Guitar championships.

hotrod replied to Cap'n Crook’s comment:
Dec 17, 2007
Reply

And rest assured, our squadron of jack-booted thugs will be armed with truncheons and tear gas to bar your entry.

Cap'n Crook replied to hotrod’s comment:
Dec 17, 2007
Reply

Ah yes. But we don't need stones or other forms of violence to make those thugs of yours run for the hills. Thank the good man for alcohol and Wilson Phillips.

hotrod replied to Cap'n Crook’s comment:
Dec 17, 2007
Reply

I don't know why you persist in thinking you're getting into the Rock It Grill, let alone onstage.

The continued commercialism of KttD kind of bums me out. It's getting to be a Hallmark Holiday, trumped up by marketing people to get us to buy bad rock and roll songs.

It's funny you mention that. We received a call just this afternoon from Carl Newman. The New Pornographers wanted to sponsor KttD VIII. We turned them down. You're welcome.

You were Punk'd! That was me who called.

How was I punk'd? Maybe it was Carl, maybe it was you. But whoever it was started sniveling and then crying when we said that that piece of shit New Pornographers record wasn't something that we at KttHQ wanted to be associated with. Then the person of the other end started begging. They said they'd listen to some good Canadian rock - that they'd bought "Reckless" just last weekend - and that they wouldn't ever again release a bunch of pussified love letters to their pen pal girlfriends. It was shameful, really. I felt kinda bad. At least until I remembered that they owed me seventeen dollars that I wasted on "Challengers."

It was all Neko's idea to call. As if the New Pornographers would ever want to be apart of your piddly little contest. They got bigger fish to fry. I hope the Barenaked Ladies serve you well as the spokesband for KttD.

Oh, please. We all know Neko IS - or was, at least - the New Pornographers. Nobody's tuning in for Carl, as all those losers that bought "The Slow Wonder" would attest.

Slow Wonder was a great album. Have all these years of KttD damaged your hearing? That's the only explanation I can think of that makes any sense.

Right. And all those Destroyer records are great, too. The only reason anybody has ever heard of Carl Newman is because of Neko Case.

WRONG! The only reason anyone knows of Neko Case is because of The New Pornographers. How do you manage to get so much wrong all the time?

Yeah, that's definitely wrong. I - and many other fans of country music - have been following Neko for a decade now, which is at least three years longer than anybody could conceivably follow the New Pornographers.

Oh like I believe that. Nice try though.

It's true, dumbass. Neko used to be on the same label as the Old 97's. But I wouldn't expect you to know that.

I actually had no idea they were on the same label. In fact I couldn't tell you what label either of them are on now. Or even if Old 97s are still together.

But that doesn't make you any less wrong about most everything.

Well, I'm not wrong about most everything, but that's not the point at hand. The important thing is: I am right about this.

Right about what?

I'm right that the New Pornographers owe all their fame to Neko. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, gives two shits about Carl.

I do.

Well, you're the only one. And you're wrong.

I am somebody and by making the claim that nobody gives two shits about Carl, you are, in fact, wrong. Ha. I win, again.

The underlying implication, naturally, was that nobody whose opinion matters gives two shits about Carl. I realize that's redundant - that people who know anything about music don't care about Carl - but I'm far from surprised you're not exactly catching on.

Anyway, Carl sucks and only people who might be better served by finding a hobby other than pop music think he's any good. QE fucking D. And you lose, again.

Sorry to interrupt this, yet again, festive and amiable exchange, but I wanted to mention that the audio I scooped from KttD last go around and will be featuring in this year's countdown is stellar.

Can't make any promises about the documentary, however. The raw footage is of course stellar, but I'm doubting it's going to be posted in time. But maybe the pressure will help Vrabel get something assembled.

Vanna, your audio wizardry is what gets me through winter.

I live vicariously through Vanna's KttD reports.

I'll chip in for that USB if necessary. I can't wait to hear that audio. January is my favorite month of the year...

I think a "fuck you Hell, Inc." self-indulgent trip to D.C. for KttD is in order for your February, Jodi.

We might have to find a new pregame show venue since the chances of Doc Paradox & CalaVerde showing up are slim-to-nil. That hotel was a little out of my price range.

I vote for Daby's high-rise penthouse.

No pressers. This is when KttD returned to its hard-driving acoustic roots and everyone threw away their drugs and stopped making double albums. KNOW YOUR RIGHTS.

the most wonderful time of the year

Comments

Post a comment

About Me

i've got a lucky silver dollar

Neighborhood

Tags

Archives