stuff i've been reading: a november column

Some of my neighbors post a monthly column about what they've been reading lately.  M-----l started it, and then Jodi copied.  It seems like a good idea to me (I like to read too), so I'm going to copy both of them.  Here's what I've been reading so far this month:

US Weekly
It turns out that Jen is still pissed that Brad left her for Angelina.  And she might be pregnant with John Mayer's baby.  That could be a good thing because she could probably stand to put on a few pounds.  (It would also be good if John dumps her, like he might.  Again.  His music is terrible.)  She looked way better when Friends first started than she does now.  At any rate, I hope she finally finds the happiness she deserves.

TV Guide
TV Guide ran a cover story on Saturday Night Live recently, which surprised me because SNL hasn't been funny since I was in high school.  But apparently 30 Rock star (and total hottie) Tina Fey has been making guest appearances impersonating someone named Sara Paylen.  I don't know who Sara Paylen is, but I plan to tune in this Saturday night to see what all the buzz is about.

Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing by Judy Blume
Man that Fudge is a hoot, right?  I can't believe he actually ate a turtle.  But on a more serious note, this book is about how much younger siblings totally suck.  I have younger siblings too, so I can relate.  They're the worst.  My childhood and adolesence and early adulthood were SO miserable.

Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut
I liked Breakfast of Champions better.  That book had a drawing of a butthole, which made me laugh.  Plus, nobody ate a turtle in this one.  So it goes.

Archie and Jughead
Archie needs new spark plugs for his jalopy so he can take Betty to the sock hop.  (And afterword, he hopes, the drive-in.)  He has the idea to set up a kissing booth at the school fair to raise the money, but that mean old Reggie wants to spoil the plan.  He dresses up in a gorilla suit and gets in line, but Archie is too clever.  When Reggie's eyes are closed, he gets Jughead - whose eyes are also closed - to substitute for him.  Hilarity ensues.  And Archie gets his car fixed.  Betty, naturally, is impressed.

The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbary
I've had a tough time getting into this one.  I blame this partly on my prevailing foul mood over the past few weeks, which makes me want to zone out and think as little as possible while I ride the subway to and from work.  But I also place blame on the characters, who thus far are clichéd and - worse - boring.  Oh, it's a poor little misunderstood rich girl who thinks she wants to commit suicide; oh, it's a disaffected concierge who pretends to be an anti-intellectual.  However will their lives eventually intersect in a deep and meaningful way?  I'm not being fair and I know it, but come on - I'm ninety pages in.  Let's go somewhere with this already.  And I'm annoyed that this has been sitting so long by now that I should probably read those first ninety pages over again.

People
Angie says Jen should mind her own business.  She didn't make Brad cheat, and Jen should just let it go.  It's been three years now.  I mean, come on....

Weekly World News
YOUR DOCTOR COULD BE AN ALIEN!  Holy. Fucking. Shit.  I knew it!