postponing: the vault

Comments

So you really need like two months to invent reasons that Sorry Ma sucks? Wow.
No, of course not. I - we - already know why it sucks. And we could have spent our now rare free time writing that post. But we can't promise another record review next Tuesday. So that's why this has been postponed.

Shit, we could have written a review of "Sorry Ma..." by about ten o'clock last Monday night.
Sure, sure we could have. But you know? It sucks. isn't gonna cut it. You better bring your A game bucko because I am itching for a fight.
No comment.
stumped you already?
Don't be stupid. I'm just concerned about hurting your feelings. It's another new policy we're trying.
What? What kind of fun is that?

Also does that mean you'll stop calling me mean names?
We don't believe we have been calling you mean names, but yes.
Have suffered some kind of head trauma? Life-threatening incident? What's the deal?
Have suffered? What the fuck are you talking about?
I forgot a word. When did you become the typo police?

Have you suffered a serious head trauma? that's what I meant. clearly, you haven't because you're back to your ornery self. Phew.
I just wanted to ensure I didn't misinterpret your awkward syntax.
The first time you posted that comment it had a typo, didn't it?
I don't know what you are talking about.
My e-mail says you know exactly what I'm talking about. Don't make me take a screengrab.
I really don't know what you are blathering on about. Hey, isn't there a reality TV show on VH1 you are missing right now?
No. My favorite TV show is on MTV, duh. And it was on last night. Sheesh



That's obviously been doctored. There is no evidence of a typo in the transcript, which all can read above.
oh please. as if I'd go through that much effort for a damn typo. are you kidding me?
We all know you would. You're so desperate at this point to prove me wrong about something - anything - there's no telling the levels to which you would stoop.
Ach. If you don't save the wee turtles, who will?
Why would I be desperate? I prove you wrong so often it has become something i don't even think about like breathing.
Gee, I don't know... Maybe you're desperate because you are so very rarely right. D'ya think that might be why you're desperate? Huh? Do ya? Because the rest of us do.

You're desperate enough to make shit up like proving me wrong all the time - that much is clear.
I am quite often right. I'm right as rain. Desperation is not a feeling I am familiar with. So yeah, once again you're wrong.
It's worse than I thought. You can't even tell the difference anymore. Let me help: you're wrong.
Come on, why would I accept a vote of wrongness from someone who cannot muster up anymore of an argument than "I didn't like it therefore it sucks"?

Please.
I could offer more sophisticated arguments, but I've been concerned about exceeding your intellect and attention span. I've been trying to keep these debates fair by engaging you at your level.

I'm a supergenius, dummy. Bring on the big words!
I really don't think you're ready for that. Let's review:

Your favorite superhero is the embodiment of a five-year-old's concept of what a superhero should be. Hmm... he should be impossibly benevolent and then also have every single superpower we can dream of, because that's interesting.

Your favorite band was a bunch of drunk and stupid teenagers who wrote songs about boners.

You have zero attention span.

You watch reality television of your own volition.

You choose - CHOOSE - to live in Minnesota.

You compare yourself to an animated coyote.
Believe me, I would much rather prefer to interact with you at an adult level, but to this point you haven't proven you are capable. Regardless, I'm happy to oblige. Be careful what you wish for, cause you just might get it.
Your favorite superhero is the trendiest, most popular , over-hyped superhero of them all.

Your favorite band is someone nobody's ever heard of or will hear of in about five years, and they just happen to be managed by who is that? Oh yeah, Peter Jesperson, the man who discovered The Replacements.

You got me on point three. However, Zodiac was still entirely longer than was necessary and you damn well know it.

I know coping to owning a TV muchless watching it is anathema to the post-ironic hipster crowd you belong to, but yes, I do watch The Paper and I love it and I am not ashamed to it.

Minnesota is the bomb diggety -- home to many great creative minds among them F. Scott Fitz, Prince, Bob Dylan, the Coen Brothers, Charles M. Schultz, and the inventors of Post-it Notes. I know you really, really want me to move to the East Coast, but I love it here.

When did I compare myself to Wile E. Coyote? I am so much more like Elmer Fudd.

I am pretty sure that you don't even know how to interact with anyone on an adult level and that if you ever deign to make a cohesive, coherent type of argument regarding anything I'll probably fall over and die.
(Hums the Odd Couple theme...)
Hmmm...

This is odd, because just last week you admitted Batman was best.

My all-time favorites are Johnny Cash and Bruce Springsteen, who - contrary your belief - will still be revered five years hence And I sure do like the Old 97's, but I have never pretended they are an important band. You could learn a lot from me, even though the Old 97's have never written a song about boners.

Minnesota sucks and all of those people you mentioned (except Prince, who will always be a PIH) left as soon as they could.

Zodiac was exactly as long as it was supposed to be.

TV is stupid, and your failure to admit that is exactly the sort of contrarian behavior that make you a post-ironic hipster.

Every time you call yourself a "supergenius" you unwittingly align yourself with an cartoon loser.

I make coherent arguments all the time. That you are too stupid to recognize them as such doesn't make them any less coherent.
You know what your problem is? You just don't know how to argue. You think I'm right and you're stupid is an argument. It's not. Well, it is if you're in 3rd grade. Hotrod, are you just a really smart 3rd grader?

Post a comment

Already a Vox member? Sign in