i stand corrected: fly-over states

I take back everything I have ever said about most people from the fly-over states being better off on one of the coasts.  I was wrong.  I nearly committed a murder this morning.  A young couple from Michigan or Illinois or Wisconsin who were obviously in town for a seminar or something insisted on disrupting the blissful tomb-like atmosphere on the Metro with their vapid conversation.  They were projecting as if they were in a goddamn Broadway play.  The worst wasn't their volume, though, but their sheer inanity.  My favorite - if that's the right word, which it isn't exactly - was this particular bon mot:

HER -- So I was at my computer.  Knee-deep in, like, my fiftieth spreadsheet of the day.  How did people work before computers?

Ugh.  Kill me.  Or better yet, kill her.  The coasts are generally a better place to live, but not for fucking retards who don't know how to behave in a civilized society.  They can stay in the fly-overs.  We don't want them.

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Dabysan
tough sledding on the metro this morning? You should try coming into work later.
rigsby

So, you feel like everyone who lives in a "fly-over" state must be a loud-talker?

HMMMM. INTERESTING. NOT AT ALL GENERALIZING. I WONDER WHERE YOU MIGHT GET THAT IDEA? MAYBE YOU COASTAL ELITIST SNOBS ARE JUST LOW-TALKERS. EVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT, YOU JACKASS?

hotrod
I'm not suggesting that everyone from the fly-over states talks loudly. I am suggesting that those from the fly-over states who are too stupid to know when it's inappropriate to talk loudly should stay there.
rigsby

WELL IF WE'RE TOO STUPID TO KNOW WHEN IT'S APPROPRIATE TO TALK LOUDLY, HOW ARE WE TO KNOW WHEN IT'S APPROPRIATE TO TRAVEL? AND TO WHERE?

MAYBE YOU COULD OFFER SOME ONLINE ETIQUETTE CLASSES FOR THOSE OF US FLY-OVER SOCIAL DEVIANTS.

BTW, WHAT DID WE EVER DO WITHOUT COMPUTERS? I'M ALREADY ON, LIKE, MY SIXTIETH SPREADSHEET!

hotrod
Here's a tip: if you're the only one talking, and you're screaming, you're talking too loudly.
rigsby
UNLESS, OF COURSE, YOU ARE UBER-EXCITED ABOUT YOUR SPREADSHEETS. THEN IT'S OK, RIGHT?
Lorelei
hotrod, were we on the same train? I nearly decked this idiot tourist type wearing her little badge thingie and carrying her little roll-y case because her inane giggle - and even more idiotic conversation - was driving me up the fucking wall. That and her over-use of Bath and Body Shop whatever the fuck body spray was making my head ache and eyes water. But what burned the most (other than her toxic perfume) was the LOUD, SHRILL OBNOXIOUS VOICE THAT COULD BURST EARDRUMS. Bitch, shut the fuck up. Notice that the train is dead quiet and full of people napping or reading.
hotrod
Oh, brother - don't get me started on those little roll-y cases. If you need the equivalent of a wheelbarrow for your fucking briefcase, you've failed at life and probably just not be employed. Not you specifically, obviously.

This was on the yellow line between King Street and L'Enfant Plaza. I don't know if they left there or got on another train. I'm guessing it's not the same person, though. This woman had a stupid badge, but I didn't notice any body spray. And I am almost as sensitive to pungent odors as I am to noise violations.
Jan
It is always okay to get excited and loud about spreadsheets because they are fantastic!
rigsby

Well, no offense, but you are also of the fly-over variety, so I'm not sure you are capable of making that judgement call. We'll have to wait for the official Coastal Elitist Social Appropriateness Committee's verdict.

And you think everything is "fantastic".

Jan
Weren't you supposed to be biking to work anyway? If you had been you could more easily avoid anyone of the human race who might annoy you. I think numerous people fall into this category.
hotrod
I just said I was going to ride more than take the subway over the course of the year. And I also said I was going to start when it warmed up. Today is February 6 - I have plenty of time. And though it's over seventy today, it's also going to thunderstorming any minute now.
rigsby
Oh please. Don't be such a baby. Other people do it. It just depends what you consider dangerous.
hotrod
I have ridden in thunderstorms before. But I don't like to make a habit of it.

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