i just want you to know who i am
Yesterday, Emma and I accompanied Nikki on that most fundamentally American of activities: the purchase of a really big television. During our lunch conversation, the topic of the Goo Goo Dolls arose, which I found strange because nobody ever talks about the Goo Goo Dolls. I'm pretty sure even (former?) members of the Goo Goo Dolls don't talk about the Goo Goo Dolls. But whatever - it's a one-off, right? Then this morning in my usual pre-dawn sleeplessness, I stumbled across a discussion/list of terrible band names, which also - and obviously - mentions the Goo Goo Dolls. I don't know what to make of all this Goo. This can't be a good omen.
Anyway, the pride of Buffalo, New York notwithstanding, the aforementioned list should effectively serve as as Exhibit A for Dabysan's theory about definite articles in band names. There are only a few "the's" in there, and - probably not coincidentally - by my count only one band that was ever any good. My personal favorite bad band name comes in seven slots too low, but overall it's a pretty thorough list. When "Deep Blue Something" and "Third Eye Blind" and "Clap Your Hands Say Yeah" fail to make the cut, you know you're in especially bad company. Ooooh! Bad company.... Now there's a good name for a band....
[UPDATE: A grave injustice has been done here. At the time of the writing of the above post, we had somehow completely forgotten that the redoubtable Emma Peel had broached the worthy subject of questionable band names long before either Dabysan or ourselves offered our meager addenda. How, exactly, we might have forgotten about this discussion is a matter of some confusion, as it contains one of our favorite quips penned by Ms. Peel. Frankly that bit about the "the bubbles" and how they might stop if one's head is held underwater for too long makes this particular post an oversight, also, for last month's clip show. And not least, there is the now timely mention of UK Pussy. It is inexcusable that all this had escaped our memory. We can't possibly be more sorry. Oh, and Tapes 'N fucking Tapes - the name - still blows, but we still like the song.]
Comments
But yes - punctuation has no place in a band name.
Correct. I went out of order posting my comment before reading the list. However, I can tell whoever put this list together (Matt Wilson) thinks the same way I do when it comes to naming a band. Case in point, #1.
Enuff Z'nuff is one of those names you kinda chuckle at for 2 seconds and then it's over.
"He knew just as well as everyone else that if your group is from Montreal, you can record yourself taking a poop on a xylophone and Pitchfork will give it a sparkling review."
I take exception to the inclusion of both Porno for Pyros, which I think might actually be kind of clever and the Mr. T Experience, which isn't that bad, and belongs to an excellent little power-pop outfit.
I'd like to offer in replacement "Pearl Jam" named -- regardless of what they may say -- after an anti-wrinkle ointment peddled by an old Japanese woman on late-night television in the 1980s.
Not that there's anything wrong with their music, but They Might Be Giants should've made the list on name alone.
I would
Observe the photo of "Def Leppard" in the list: http://www.cracked.com/index.php?name=News&sid=2145&pageid=2. Dude, that is not even the band. That is the fake band in the really, really bad VH1 movie about the band. That I watched one night in some desperate haze. Fine if you want to mock good bands with bad names. But at least show the real band photo.
Maybe something bad happened to Jason P. as he was typing up his comment. It IS cryptic....
The message board rolled me and cut off my extremely witty and thoughtful reply. Let me try again...
I wanted to second the Cap'n's comments regarding the awfulness of punctuation within a band name (apostrophe's aside, that is). The most damning example would have to be Godspeed You! Black Emperor, formerly Godspeed You Black Emperor!, as it takes a special kind of asshole to make a change like that.
Although if you really want to make your head spin, consider !!!. Utilizing punctuation both within and without, I am left speechless. File them both under Audibly Shitty Things Emanating From The Great White North.
!!! topped the list I linked to. I still think Enuff Z'nuff is worse.
Tegan and Sara, Great Lake Swimmers, Broken Social Scene...there may be an inextricable link between Canadian indie rock and awful, awful band names.
Unless of course the band's name has only one word. To wit, the awesomeness that is both Rush and Sloan.